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New year, old happiness

Year (actually, I always tend still to this day with "y" to write) or New Year's presents for me personally since early Kindkeht the most important festival of Easter dar. The course, on the one something with my pyromaniac tendency to do, on the other hand is also the year represents the best opportunity to look back in peace to the past, things behind you and to make plans for the future. Fortunately, New Year's Eve through the nearby Christmas holidays as much as possible of disruptive commercial and celebratory crowds sealed, so that one here has actually ever have the opportunity to switch off to think in peace - and then at midnight, with great fanfare less to welcome the new year rather than the old year to chase once and for all. But that was the case with me so far in most cases.

course gives this festival a well once again a good opportunity to meet with nice people (which you must choose New Year's Eve, however, far more than Christmas itself) and to spend a relaxing holidays, the rituals of a society not by any or even religious norms laid down. Since the turn of the millennium, if not since graduating from high school in 1993, I was however considered eligible for this, nice people train to train. Old friends are warped, have involuntarily in residence with illegally laid-bewußtseinsveränderndem carpet adhesive weggeballert the mind, have fallen under the Nazis (for which we of course also the mind must somehow have weggeballert) or who knows what.

The last two New Year's Eve celebrations in larger round, each providing events to which I look back very reluctantly. Followed two very different reasons within a few weeks, the respective end of my relationship. In both cases in hindsight it probably better that way, so the whole thing for me, but in both cases, of course, no less painful designed. Certainly the events of the two years 1996/97 and 2002/03, turning not helped to make me become a more outgoing and more open-minded people. And (as to which one single yes but only allowed to stand in the corner and frustrated hineinsäuft the new year) so-called New Year's Eve parties in the Remmidemmi then of course I fell not more so.

As the whole rest of the year, with the time and New Year's Eve for me becoming an increasingly sad and lonely feast, which I finally just still spent with my mother, possibly plus some pesky neighbors, which we ran at midnight on a pond in the park behind the house across the road and where you would prefer not to run into. The year 2007/2008 was in this regard has already shown an absolute low point, I had to welcome the New Year involuntarily with people who are strunz stupid, can not stand me and the felt has been some completely stupid neighborhood summer festival some 30 million years to imagine the bargain too, I can name basis. And these unwanted people looked then to me even at my fire station and acted as if they belong. Pearls before swine!

the year 2008/2009, however, had somehow managed to have this low point to a few points remain. The safe side, I had my fire tools this time well hidden away in a backpack, to expose any unwanted viewers in advance that it needs. While us this time were again at midnight the same mindless full post on the way (hey, one of our neighbors in all seriousness sand collected from around the world in small bottles!), But somehow I managed to worry through targeted bored for the fact that were squashed within half an hour all the unwanted people again so that I could drive out the old year, at least in peace with your own private fireworks without being gaped at it from any of intolerable dullness baking.

All in all, this year in the year 2009 was, however, been a pretty dismal event. My mom bitched all the time that you would be cold that they even would think anyway, that I should prefer to spend money on fireworks, and overall it was (as usual) lack any understanding of the importance to me is the celebration turn of the year actually has. Instead, she cut in years than the entire New Year's evening on around me, until one beautiful Year at some point to celebrate instead, have until 10 minutes before midnight my income tax in advance prepared for December and completed. Such moments sometimes cry just then to fill them with alcohol, so you will notice as nothing more from its surroundings.

On New Years Day of 2009 I woke up not only with a slight headache, but also with the firm intention that such a dreary New Year's Eve, I never wanted to experience again. And so I dragged myself (actually, against better knowledge and against any life experience) sometime during the New Year's day once again on a single page on the Internet, where I was logged in over a decade, the I, however, except to date of a dramatic relationship failed with interim six-week engagement only have lots of contacts with completely disrupted, failed existences had introduced that tried to use their own, over time, lovingly maintained relationship incapacity as an excuse to hurt other people as you like to be allowed.

As usual, this page also bristled at that time once again profiles without any significance. True to the motto: "I do not know what to write about me - Ask me!" And when you actually ask to get either no response or is instead only desolate insulted, because the person really looks no partner, but only someone to whom she can vent their world-weariness. Kummer, misanthropy and depression are contagious - if you meet only on such people, one is likely at some point even becoming something. This is precisely why I had not actually been months seen again on this page, and I almost went straight back.

the last moment I was still stuck on a profile that was different. Not only did it once contained just about five hundred times as much text as the sad average (example: "Hello!") Of all other persons who had registered on that day there again. But it also began with the following words: "This is the same time made clear: I am very, very important that visitors are reading this on my account my profile, not just understand the content I write things here. not for nothing in and expect it also to my information are taken into consideration. " Nanu? If it is about me other than give somebody else on this planet who has not seen the now apparently mandatory general tendency to superficiality?

Further down in the text, I found a sentence that could perhaps provide SUBMITTED OBSERVATIONS sure if he should actually be meant seriously - because she has read like one on these sites certainly have one time or another, only that then in most cases, the person then could not be their own needs: "I hate it when people adjust completely and then wonder that they be misunderstood. And it is important that a man is so confident that he can defend himself verbally. "

Oops? Probably no one would to a profile - if he should have read this carefully because in fact - are taking when it's ability to defend themselves against verbal attacks, as a prerequisite for a contact or even for an interpersonal relationship would list the person in question. Here, obviously someone was as frustrated as I am about this whole notorious superficiality and mindless slobbering and Gebaggere and also about the constant patch (or eingebildten?) Penalty, other people must have fallen at all costs. If necessary, to total self-denial.

Curiously, I angeprochen just the aggression and also certain viciousness, that came in this profile to express, probably because I was at that time, even just in a similar mood as the author when writing these lines and the writing so far very could well understand. And so I have written just that person. Not just any girls with great photos, but without any significance. Not just any women with nice, possibly in the Net and stolen, at least fairly loose profile texts that were intended simply to be dropped as each. But the only profile with real personality.

time I would have never guessed that this would lead to anything. And if someone had told me, who knows, maybe I should have it so frightened that I would have not even dared to write even one sentence to say for fear the wrong things and make everything to destroy. As it was I completely relaxed approach to the matter, since I had to lose nothing at all - and why I won in the end all. Today, New Year's Day a year ago we got to know us (although the personal contact for some time thereafter was slow in coming), and I would like to express my partner openly and receive call audible to all: I love you!

should under these changed conditions New Year's Eve 2009, so different from the whole of last years earlier! Although my mother gave all the effort to spread herumzumuffeln and bad mood. Nothing that you have suggested she wanted to accept it for themselves. Instead, they turned rather ostentatiously as a poor, misunderstood and abandoned mother is, this must remain alone at home - even though we had offered her several times to come and celebrate with us so she would not exactly just had to. But now she has developed a certain mastery in it to screw up even with all their might any fun and a joy, and then blaming others for their misery.

instead (as my mother would have probably seen better), once again go only to the pond in the park behind the house and to spend with stupid and boring people a stupid and boring year, I am with my loved ones gone there from where I phoned the very first time with her was: On the north slope of the Teutoburg forest, high above the Oetker Park, which has a foot above the various allotments a great view over the whole city and the entire old west Bielefeld. Some time later we were moved along on one of her first visits to Bielefeld here, and very close, we had acknowledged each other's first love.

My mother gave us while booted a half-hour before midnight there, but obviously only to afterwards be able to better complain about the fact that they always have to do everything for us and we treat them in return, oh so bad and it alone to home would be seated. It had We previously been talking for hours for them to move but they still to come with, but she did not know. We also had offered her several times, then come back on foot so they could drink champagne for New Year and a glass or wine. What it has not prevented us behind when we actually came home on foot to make massive accusations about the fact that they allegedly because we have nothing to drink.

This time we had but made us (as opposed, for example, the incidents do not necessarily refreshing to Christmas Eve) from their depressive age stubbornness not dampen their spirits to leave. Shortly before midnight, while down in the city were thousands of impatient citizens rise of rockets and fountains in the slightly foggy night sky, we arrived at our destination, and looked for a nice place with good views over the city. Some other people had had had the same idea, also were annoying some stupid taxi drivers who drive just about midnight here and get stuck in the entrance to the pub garden allotments. But all in all it turned out to be a really good decision to spend up to the year.

So we found it at midnight with Viking blood of ancient tin cups before ( the use of which my mother had us, of course, previously warned and) on the year, and the beautiful view enjoyed a great fireworks as I had not seen in this form - probably because we are New Year's Eve it was always just in your own garden or after The move in 1993 by the pond in the park tucked behind the house had, where you say the least not very much unaware of the world. Complete strangers would wish a happy new year without deriving therefrom do the same to us (how else our neighbors) to your heart's desire to be allowed to go on the bag. And our own private fireworks came up here later very good effect.

And thus ended with this beautiful small ceremony (see it almost rather call it "ceremony") was an exceptional year - especially unusual because it had not chase this time. After all, it had brought the two of us but one still in the last year completely unsuspected luck. But in terms of the new year this year was different, I could but for the first time in a long time less welcome with fear (of more hopelessness) than with great anticipation for the experiences that it may both of us together to bring more . This time of the year also requires no lofty intentions as to what is in the new year, everything will be better. I hope the new year really only one thing: the same luck as in the old year.

Razor And Brush Stand

Silent Night, Holy Night

Christmas is supposedly the feast of contemplation, but unfortunately this year was very late to feel anything like this. To 23 December, I had to do in my end-of-project is still plentiful. After I then against 17 clock finally closing time had (except the cleaning woman had the entire rest of the company long ago adopted over the winter holiday), I have my beloved S-Bahn station at the University of Dortmund picked up. Because of numerous jams, especially on the highway 2, we had about half the distance to Bielefeld drive over country roads, but this almost as annoying was to stand as in a traffic jam, because the legions of drivers even at closing time freest route simply did not come from the quark.

at half past eight we arrived somewhat unnerved in Bielefeld. After dinner we had, understandably, probably not too much nerve to even unpack our bags, so all lay there and stand and we were completely worn to bed. For too long we could sleep on Christmas Eve but not because we do some shopping and above all still had to get a Christmas tree. To at least get a bit of fresh air, then we have a little trip to my Geocache GCXWBT Franciscan done that could be moved to the end of the excavations in the church ruins back to his original place.


Before decorating the Christmas tree, then we have cleaned up my first apartment. First, I had all my luggage back again, which I had during a half month project use the flat of my loved ones crammed full and now wanted back in the suitcases in the appropriate cabinets or at least in the washing machine. Moreover, had brought along my love with for a short Christmas holiday clothes somehow set up at me and stood on top of that my table, my desk and the whole kitchen full of all sorts of stuff that was left behind in recent months because of project deployment. Finally, I did not want to spend Christmas in a home delivered with the flair of a landfill.
had
Unfortunately, my dear mother for not very much understanding. Half the afternoon they began to rush in her inimitable way herumzunerven. They constantly asked if I decorate the Christmas tree for this year would not if I wanted to decorate the Christmas tree until Christmas Day, if I wanted to celebrate Christmas do not know if I decorate the Christmas tree this year because no say in whether I Christmas tree until the first decorate holiday, would if I wanted to celebrate Christmas do not know if I decorate the Christmas tree for this year would not if I wanted to decorate the Christmas tree until Christmas Day, if I wanted to celebrate Christmas no, about as often and in this order .

After I finally explained several times for stupid, reproached me that I was supposed to no time planning in the situation had (as always, when my own schedule is not exactly hers) and me constantly with all those little niceties of had brought the concept and, moreover, also stayed quite a while, I finally came to the Christmas tree to decorate. It would have been nice if I drink before yet alone a cup of tea, eat some cookies and would employ instead of the stupid TV herumquäkenden some beautiful music from a CD, but can even this small measure of peace and quiet I was not able to granted.

had Instead, I decorate the Christmas tree in turbo speed, and I hurried my mother ever have any candles, beads and straw star tried to push into the hand, even though I already had his hands full with other things. This she managed to delay the whole operation rather than to speed yet, and generated a lot of completely unnecessary stress. At the same time she cut still around on me and provoked me constantly so that I would have exploded almost at the end and my sweetheart who preferred to retreat into the next room. The highlight was that I then had to listen too, why because I would not drink my tea, which would still cold. No wonder that they did not let me come to drink!


The Christmas spirit I felt at that time anyway verhagelt ever thoroughly. Fortunately, my mother has at some point but still managed to pull itself together for the rest of the evening, otherwise there would be some time yet to be strenuous arguments come. It is sad to watch as the increasing age at her stubbornness in the form of constant condescension and now even more often by insulting remarks towards me starting to. Apparently it is more difficult to clear with the idea that I can master my own life, and must therefore constantly ask me to alleged inability to keep their dwindling world upright.

a little absurd acted in this connection that initially estimated this year at our Christmas presents piled in a way that we had not known since almost two decades. As if the quantity of gifts to would act directly inversely proportional to the affection shown otherwise. Of course this year was my love for the first time in our present, and of course they had also brought several gifts she had from her parents and grandparents have sent in the mail or we have during our visit to the Lausitz region of her best friend had noticed that we had (now allowed to tell it so) in return as a Christmas gift a floret Japanization left there in pretty paper wrapped hammer drill.

So the mess that is this year took an unusually long time. Before and during which we encountered in previous years, instead of the usual champagne, the us anyway, no one really compatible, with currant wine from a half-liter round-bottom flask, which we had brought in the spring of the Knights playing in rock-free. The evening was quite long, and the bottle was half empty in the end, before it was replaced for dinner (there was the usual in our traditionally smoked eel) with a dry white wine. Honestly, I do not understand people who gorge themselves on just such a feast of the year so banal commonplace foods such as sausages and potato salad behind the gills. But to each his own ...

What was there as gifts, you would like to know? All right, for completeness I mention here a few Things, and I leave out, however, including the entire candy, with which all parties were trying to fatten each other to death. My mother got me four books and a booklet with 100 Sudoku puzzles, because reading and puzzles for a long time to be their only remaining free-time employment seem. From my dearest she was named a chic Christmas Dekodecke for the living room table and a bowl for the evaporation of fragrance oils with several interchangeable colored glass tea light, which was to buy it this year, virtually anywhere in the Christmas market.

As my mother as usual throughout the year all the fence posts with hints about "possible had Weihnachtsgeschänke ignored consistently, limited the range of their own creativity in essence, two new pajamas, which I'm still not so sure if me not two sizes too big. After all, I have since last Christmas so decreased somewhat. In addition, I received several things that I had recently checked in a Humanitas catalog. In addition to some books primarily a mini pocket knife from his home Laguiole (which I actually rather as a possible gift for my love had checked) and a Ornithopter , an artificial bird as a toy for an original design Leonardo da Vinci (but now "appropriate" plastic), worth mentioning.

I received from my loved ones including a double CD and double-DVD pack Schandmaul (Sinnfonie "), which we had witnessed in August when Fährmannsfest live in Hanover. Moreover, I should now call a beautiful incense (probably soapstone) my own, and two candle holders that fit perfectly color to a small, stone vase, which she has already given me in the summer, but should come from a completely different source. By her best friend, I received a hand-carved wooden box with a perforated pattern in the Gothic and then with leather lined Cover (similar to a window-rosette of any Gothic cathedral). So thematically at the very time fitting that we present when we "descend" on events in the Middle Ages.


United were the eyes, when my beloved was aware that I had her second-hand is responsible for all six volumes of the book series "The Wizard of the Emerald City" by Alexander Volkov in the old edition (in 2005). In the autumn of this year, I was at the same task failed before, because both Amazon and Buch.de Although the old issues in their online catalogs were available, but instead provided the new total verhunzten translations and then every six volumes of I received back by return mail. It was quite a riot, the actual original volumes from various antique dealers gather up all over Germany, but ultimately it has been worthwhile to do this alone for a moment, and for the certainty of a loved one a great joy.

course was this gift is not as big and as modern as the LCD flat display that she got from my mother (well, not quite without my help ...) get. And of course, was far more urgent needs, but had the antediluvian CRT monitor (the flickering with green diagonal stripes on the screen) during the year given up the ghost and has since taken an even older and smaller model that a friend had had left his place. Not exactly eye-friendly, if you ask me, and besides, this ancient treasure already half over. Now I may well someday again carry monitors, for both the old equipment is certainly just a case for the scrap heap. Not

simply rounded, but was once again topped the giving of the (simultaneously Christmas and a very belated birthday) gift that got my love of her best friend. We had a few months ago when radicals Chest Bielefeld in the best materials for a complete medieval outfit of petticoat, and Bliaut Tasselmantel selected and sent for processing to her friend in the Lausitz. Since this given us during our visit in late November a large, sealed package was in which was incidentally also my carved wooden box, we were extremely excited to see what had come out at the end of worried about it.

And we were disappointed with anything but! The drapery has become absolutely great. Unfortunately, became the first try-on photos taken anything because of the sparse living room light pictures taken in the green Bliaut really just brown looks like the woolen coat, while my darling to the images taken with flash looks as pale as a ghost castle. But I am sure that will come in the course of the year, one or other occasion on which to make one or the other can be presentable photo. At the latest when we return in the spring and that Summer, make medieval markets uncertain.

So then a hectic and stressful day ended but still fairly quiet, although it is the real Christmas spirit to the end but was pretty difficult to prevail against the overwhelming reality. Let's hope once run that the other holidays and New Year's also peaceful and without any further arguments and provocations. I am too optimistic in this respect not because my mother would have to act together for longer than she's used by date but usually rather short visit my loved ones (for if I am alone here, they do the devil himself to me zusammenzureißen in any way).

But at least we have both these days, probably one or the other in a quiet, still night we spend with each other, without being of any construction workers by 7 clock in the morning torn with heavy equipment from sleep and shake some literally out of bed. And respected my mother at least when I visit, my privacy is not permanently and without asking for me came bursting in, as they often do otherwise, as if I were a small child that needs to be spoon-fed it and supervise. So we look forward to a few quiet nights - if any of them will be holy, however, I venture to doubt to be honest ...

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Here's to the "dear" colleagues!

humanity today is apparently not widely available. Also, and not just among colleagues. This finding is of course not anything new, but over the last few weeks I was able to experience this phenomenon once again very unfortunate example. Very important to remember especially the good manners you obviously to external employees, because they are not well known right people. Even if they are for quite a lot of money into the house and takes twice as much as they contribute to project success as the average time employees. There can be as many noble company guidelines for human interaction in the small kitchen attached to the wall. Lived and they are all, especially not if the company management is not fooling.

Since early November, I am now working as an external employee at a company in Dortmund. First it was the speech that they wanted to occupy me until well into next year 2010. In the meantime, however, been found that the order situation probably is not enough for it, so I leave that for Christmas my desk must. Well wishes, may be something of course happen again, one must keep as a freelancer in this industry, and this fact can be pure, and I will hold against anyone here also negative. Even if you look at the whole thing would have been quite a little early to think about.

What makes me angry but rather, is the handling, which is maintained with external parties in this company. So I've been invited, for example, from the beginning to any event of this company, not the general Christmas yet to departmental breakfast before Christmas, not even for the Christmas market visit to the department with common mulled wine, although at least it certainly every man for himself has paid and would have shown my participation certainly no financial burden for the company. A closer acquaintance with each other was so obviously undesirable.

Someone who knows about it, told me that this is the case of temporary workers and temporary workers at some companies and be starting quite common. That may well be, although I think it would be inappropriate in these cases. But firstly I'm not a temporary employee, not contract workers, and secondly, it is precisely in areas where we need highly qualified external experts and for good money for sub-haste into the house gets, not usually the case, This will be treated as second-class employees.

During my last project at a major German car manufacturer, it was certainly obvious that all outside workers were invited to every celebration and event. Because of the diverse structure of the departments were so many dates that we felt compelled at the end of even one or two to say. And we ought to really think that in such large companies in total a much more impersonal atmosphere than in a small software house like the one in which I am now working.

If it reversed, at least equal treatment for all non-permanent employees were, could I perhaps understand it. But at that company, for example, are students, no matter how often they appear at all, certainly invited to. However, were not invited but me really only the cleaning ladies. But where is this company anyway, met with very little respect. They were trying at best ignore, and one of them was recently very surprised that you could talk to me in contrast to the regular staff members and do not really like air was treated.

As air I've felt this personally many times. It's the seemingly little things that one in the sum of the Sense to give, not to belong and - from a purely human - to be more than superfluous. Only after a few days ago someone came up with the idea and asked me if I wanted to come along for lunch in the cafeteria of the technology parks, or me at all to talk about that possibility. Several times "forgot" my colleagues, although I had specifically said that I wanted to come along. In any other you wait before going out for dinner, however long he was slow in coming. Only when I just wanted to again fix the toilet, I could expect to be able to run after the gentlemen to the canteen. (Because if you finished the last one there was, crowded they turn and proved no patience for five cents.)

undertaken after at least 6 weeks I also found out the way now (of course only by pure chance) that you get here as an employee of mineral water for free. Yes no one says! A key to the front door I get anyway, so I had to wait forever, until the next regular employees arrived for me. For in the minds of the permanent staff there is obviously no room for it, that someone could have no key. And so no one opens a door when it rings. Sometimes I hang here, the permanent employees on the way out of the park with quick steps and let the door fall behind, although they have already seen me and know that I have no key.

This whole attitude has anything not even his intention - however one might proceed administratively or by appeals to any supervisor. Rather, I believe it is these are the same indifference that most people are laying on the day when it comes to other people. It simply no longer interested in what happens to other people, at least as long as it is not a person is, which one is reliant or before which one is already on its own initiative, and in eight have to take, for example, because it is the own chief or head of department concerned. Which at this point anyway, no one locked.

A particularly brazen example of disregard and indifference to the needs of others I was this morning. Only a stupid accident I received yesterday a response to a response to a response to an invitation to the team breakfast, which was to take place today. But since I now felt on the one hand, no real wish, three days before I left here suddenly another to make "social contacts" (that one would have to think maybe when I started here!), And also to Christmas still plenty to do I (I'm sitting here already as a single employee every day at least 10 hours on the computer), I have this really anyway canceled addressed to me rather date a precaution.

Eventually came the boss and told my (which also quite aghast) project and with me that you intend to hold the Christmas breakfast in our office because this was the largest room on the floor - if we wanted to or not . As the department head was already hanging over the protests of the project manager rather surly the manager, I dared not even to protest too, and stood grudgingly out to one, to continue my work with annoying Christmas music tooting and munching with two dozen colleagues in the office, and mouthed.

roars Finally here after all, otherwise even the project manager constantly for hours on the phone to someone loudly, so that one can hardly make a right focus on the work. And after all had retired now this same project with Badly eroded face into another office to instead just to shout from there someone for hours on the phone (in the skin I given the mood of the project manager does not specifically today really would have liked to stick). So at least this one was exceptionally disruptive once ruled, although the whole of the colleagues and the loud Silent Night Holy Night-terror course was more than compensated.

long a time, my plan, but still continue working, contrary to expectations, went well. But then I grumbled at the project, I now wanted to here but not working, so I would only spoil the others the party mood. I replied that I did so sorry that I should try to work to get me to the tasks set before my departure from the company ready. At first it seemed to be done with it, and I was able to continue to work something. But then he said rather curtly: "That was the way in earnest."
So I had to
vacate my place - by the way, in the course of the next two hours from the dear colleagues over a large area was covered with coffee stains, but of course no one thought even dream of it, wipe it themselves. In the meantime, I ran relatively aimlessly through the house and asked me if I get the time lost in this way because at least paid - after all, I paid for the hours worked by me. Hotels charge I did it anyway. Because I can see no one, why should I have to defend it when I was deliberately obstructed in my work!

After all, I managed during this otherwise pretty wasted time to find a solution to our massive database problems of recent weeks: It turned out, namely, that although everyone had always lamented loudly, but no one had taken such a step as simple reboot of the server into consideration. Not that I had not been long since pointed out (I myself can not even do that) - but even in this respect simply no one has heard of me. Incidentally, even today, at least so far is still no reboot is why all the other colleagues did not really get on with their work. Another typical case of this unfortunate indifference.